Stevie Wonder

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Melbourne and the place is
absolutely packed to the rafters.
In a bid to break the ice with his new audience, he asks if anyone would
like him to to play a request.
The Lord Mayor, John So, jumps out of his seat in the front row and
shouts:
"Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"
Amazed that this guy knows the jazz influences in Stevie's varied
career,
the blind muso starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a
difficult jazz melody for about ten minutes.


When he finishes the whole place goes wild.
The Lord Mayor jumps up again and shouts: "No, no, play a jazz chord,
play
a jazz chord."
A bit cheesed off by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is,
dives
straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor
chord and really tears the place apart.


The crowd goes wild again, but the Lord Mayor jumps up again, screaming:
"Play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord."
Well & truly cheesed off that this little guy doesn't seem to appreciate
his playing ability, Stevie says to him from the stage:


"OK shorty, you get up here and do it."


John So climbs up on the stage, takes hold of the mike and starts to
sing....








"A JAZZ CHORD TO SAY I RUV YOU."

Juicy Squirt

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

A joke

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's half-past three in the morning.
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"
"No. Get lost, it's half-past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you.
Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."
So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts: "Where are you?"
And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing set."

The Sysiphean Predicament

We repeat activities all throughout our lives. I shave every day. This is optional. If I didn't I would have a really ordinary looking beard. While most of the repetitious actions I perform are optional, many are mandatory in order to survive. I most eat every day. I must breath constantly. To give up performing the repetitious activity of breathing is to give up on life, and hence commit suicide. Since both the monotonous repetitions of activities are absurd and suicide is the ultimate absurdity, there is an extreme predicament. To be and not to be are both absurd.

The only answer is to find meaning in the absurdity. I can either find meaning in the Sysiphean activities or find meaning in suicide. As Voltaire said only the meaning in the Sysiphean activities can make life worth living.
What do you reckon?